(I am aware benzos are considered “trip killer”, this is mostly a myth in my opinion, more like it calms down a person panicking, and slows down the racing thoughts associated with standard psychedelics like LSD. A true trip killer is an antipsychotic class medicine. I am not sure on this, but the effect of benzos on DMT seems far less than you would expect. Though here I think it may have helped allay the racing thoughts I usually get).
I’ve broken through a number of times but never really remembered these bits (though I feel they’ve happened definitely)… This was with the Sai TAF because the pad etc. on my mighty is a bit decrepit and stale so I ordered new ones. 175C in TCR mode on my box mod. I had the airflow on the top and bottom totally open.
The first hit felt harsh. I wasn’t sure it was even working as I had several total nothingness trips tonight before Xanax (and was a little frustrated by that). I had decided to not even bother trying again until another day, but once I dropped the Xanax (which I take to sleep, due to pretty bad insomnia) I felt compelled… I really was not sure it was working – until suddenly it blatantly was. You can tell by the spacey sedated feel you get right at the start.
I took more than 3 hits. 3 hits is typically considered a breakthrough, but of course it is dose dependent and I am not relying on using little microscopic spoons to determine dosages.
I was already in this place of like 100000 entities when I pathetically took some semblance of a fourth hit. I probably did like half an inhale and held it. But I was (or felt like I was) hyperventilating so it wasn’t easy.
I’m not even sure the fourth hit made the experience any stronger which is odd and unexpected.
Things were just happening, who knows what any of that was. I don’t have a clue. It was so fast and everchanging that it’s not that I COULDN’T describe it, it was just too fast to remember. There were sooooooo many entities. Not just a few “elves” but like 50 to 100 fully humanoid figures lining every room wall to wall. I didn’t notice them much because I was being passed around or perhaps moving like a railgun shooter at the arcade.
Things were changing fast from scene to scene. So like 100 scenes happened, all quite fantastical, and I had no time to process them because by the time I saw something I’d gone somewhere else.
I did notice coming face to face with this humanoid figure that was larger than me made of, it seemed, yellow dots. It had three bodies, one facing me and the others looking sideways.
I didn’t know if I was dying or would die but it was barely a concern as I felt this was some underlying real reality underpinning all “true” reality and it felt like THAT’S where I actually am now.
I think at times I could feel myself hyperventilate or something but other times didn’t care or perhaps even lost touch.
It was so fast and frantic that I can’t take much from it except a feeling akin to conquering a fear of riding some really huge rollercoaster. I’ve done it before but taking a FOURTH hit when already in “another dimension” etc I’ve never done.
I didn’t want it to end and it did for the first time out of trips I’ve had feel I was being bid farewell somehow. I wanted to stay there but it was getting dark and faded so I just opened my eyes. My room was all funky but I’m quite used to the OEV patterning and colour stuff.
I was just laughing then.
I was hoping to delve into consciousness and the nature of reality but basically just had an intense drug trip instead… Lol… I wasn’t aiming for some intriguing drug trip I wanted to explore Oneness and consciousness but it was still cool.
It is strange, LSD + DMT trips are the ones where I felt the universe “come undone”. I felt it only once on solo DMT but it wasn’t this intense and it was also scary that time.
Usually solo DMT makes me a bit nervous or have racing thoughts during the trip. I quite like what high dose Xanax did to the experience in terms of removing that. But my intention was to get something different.
I had stopped use of DMT for a while because without already tripping on something like acid, they just did not seem as “profound” or mindblowig as expected. I did also use it sober on those attempts. I generally found it to be somewhat akin to sleep paralysis in the “waking dreamlike visions” aspect… This was a lot stronger than those times.
It is difficult to judge the strength of an experience to a degree, and I think perhaps it is partly to do with the mindset and specific avenue the trip goes down. There have been some I cried from, and others that did not seem profound at all, just like insane drug trips with crazy lucid visuals.